Anxiety

It's hard to understand something you've never been through. I don't understand alcoholics, how could someone spend all their money on booze and drink themselves into a coma? For an ex alcoholic it's probably easy to understand because they've been through it, they've experienced it for themselves.

It's the same concept with anxiety, for someone who has never had anxiety disorder it's hard for them to get it. They don't know what it feels like and it's hard to explain it to them. My mum once said to me that she only truly understood anxiety disorder after going through it herself, and that it was worse than she thought.

It's easy to underestimate it.

I mean what do people have to compare it to? Usually a time they were scared or nervous, like before a test. To them they just see it as nerves. They don't get how debilitating it can be.

The truth is anxiety is so much worse than that. It's a mental illness that can effect your everyday life. It's that uncontrollable feeling of panic and dread. It makes you feel ill. It makes you sick. It makes your guts feel like they are trying to escape. Your heart takes on a life of its own. Your brain runs rings around you. And before you know if you are having a major panic over seemingly nothing at all. But you can't make it stop. It's so physical. It's so real. It's terrifying.

Every time I get anxious my body gives up on me. My mind drives me wild. It's not like any nerves or any fear I've ever had. It's different. It's more scary and more real than anything else I've felt.

But it's hard for people to understand. You can't just "snap out of it" you can't just make it stop. You can't just face your fears and be done with it. It's not a matter of "manning up". It's not as easy as just moving on.

It might seem ridiculous.

And maybe it is.

Maybe it's over nothing, maybe it's over something you could do easily. That you could face. But it's very real to them, it's very scary to them, and if nothing else it's very physical to them.

It effects every part of that persons life.

Even if you don't understand. Or you can't understand. It doesn't stop being real to them. It doesn't stop the palpitations, the dread, the sickness, everything.

Just trust me when I say, it's the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with in my life and every day I wish I could man up, move on and face it.

It's not that easy.